It was almost 2 years ago that I was listening to “Pause for Thought” on the radio in the car. It was all about WAITING NOT WANTING and I immediately realised that I was hearing an important message. To become more of a human horses needed me to be, I had just started out on the long process of consciously transforming from a “Human Doing” to a “Human Being”. I had been mulling over how I was having a bit of a wobble because I felt like I was not able to do what I WANTED with Grace if I was going to give her the time and space that she needed. This is what I wrote at the time…
“WAITING not WANTING has become my mantra. I have too much WANT for outcomes, success, recognition. It is this that has underpinned everything I do. When things are not going well all my fears are around not being good enough, not being successful, how others will view this, fear of not achieving my goals, being afraid to step back and wait because my progress will falter and I will never succeed if I don’t keep working away day after day to solve everything that isn’t right, like an obsession. And it happens straight away,as soon as one tiny thing doesn’t fall into place, as soon as perfection starts to leave me behind. Telling myself none of this matters – it’s just Grace and me,means the nagging voice kicks in and tells me it does matter and feelings of anxiety and even panic start to arise. So now I can catch myself wanting to be somewhere else in my journey, wanting to do something else, wanting to be better, wanting Grace to be better – to satisfy my nagging ego.
Then I remind myself of WAITING not WANTING
I need to re-calibrate my dreams and goals, so that our success is in the beauty of what we do together and not the results for everyone else’s benefit.”
Looking back this has been one of the most important lessons I have learned and is still very relevant today, although by comparison I WANT a lot less and WAIT a lot more. I am much more prepared to work at the horse’s pace even if it means dropping my own agenda.
Horses have no concept of time and our need to get things done yesterday or to boost our ego has no meaning for them, and the energy we project at this time is not appealing to them.
If we can WAIT for them instead of WANT something else our energy is much more attractive to them and they will be far more willing and motivated to join with us in our activities without worry or stress. This is what I practice on a daily basis and how I like to support others who may feel as if their horse does not do or give them what they want.
Happy New Year to all.
Wishing you Peace and Patience in 2019!