Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries is always a hot topic. There is the view that says you should keep your horse out of your space at all costs, another view that says setting boundaries is not necessary and you can just politely step out of the way if your horse comes in too close, and there are those who don’t really consider it at all. As usual it is all a question of finding the right balance.

Setting boundaries has nothing to do with the horse, it isn’t about putting a boundary around someone else, it is about protecting our own personal space. We all have a personal space bubble, where we feel more or less discomfort depending on how far away another being is. This may vary depending on how well we know someone and how they are behaving, but we are perfectly entitled to let someone know, including our horse, if they are invading our space and making us feel uncomfortable.

It is important to me that my horse has a voice, that she can express her opinion and doesn’t just follow my directions slavishly, but on the other hand, being given too much choice and no clear direction can also be stressful and create insecurity.

If I feel the need to be clear about creating a boundary around my own space, it is important that I also acknowledge WHY the horse feels the need to push into it sometimes. Pushing of any sort is a coping mechanism, how she copes with her own fear and insecurity, coming in close to the herd where she feels safer.  If I am going to ask her to stay out of my space, I then need to follow that with something that is going to help her feel safe in that situation.  If I just carry on regardless I am not listening to or understanding her point of view and then we lose trust.

You cannot expect your horse to respect your space if you don’t also recognise, respect and understand their fear.

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